Doodle

This is Bo, Josh's lab chewing a rawhide bone with Doodle, my "other" Yorkie. You all have seen my sweet baby Molly quite a few times but I have not said much about Doodle. I have had Yorkies for the past 15 years, mostly because they don't shed. My first Yorkie was Taxi...male, that was so hyper it was like living with a Mexican jumping bean. He turned out to be a good dog except that he liked to get out and roam. He finally roamed into the path of a car and was smashed. I cried and cried. I buried him in the back yard along with 50 other pets we have lost over the years. Put his little doggie bowls over his grave and made him a head stone with his name on it. I did not crave another pet for about a year and then I got the itch again. So Paul and I started reading the papers and finally found a listing for a female Yorkie...IN WAYNESBORO TENNESSEE!!! Good Lord...why not Egypt? But we called the guy and he gave us direction to his "puppy farm"...as it turned out to be and we headed out one Saturday afternoon. Did I mention that is was freezing buttholing cold? Well after we had driven about 40 miles I got the urge to pee. I had really done well not having to go before that many miles had passed. So our conversation went like this:
Me: well I gotta pee!
Paul: here?
Me: well yea
Paul: can you not wait?
Me: No i don't think so....we have driven 40 miles and no telling how much further it is and then we have to drive back the 40+ miles, so no I don't think I can wait.
Paul: well I will have to pull off the road.
Me: Fine
So he finds a secluded spot and he pulls over. Remember it is freezing cold. I go to the front of the truck and begin my business. I leaned up against the bumper of the truck and peed. All is well. UNTIL I started to pull up my pants. My butt was stuck to the bumper. I started beating on the front of the truck and yelling for Paul to "come here". He starts blowing the horn...why...I don't know. THEN he turns on the lights. Why... I don't know!!! A car passes but luckily it keeps going. Finally after about five minutes of me beating on the bumper and him blowing the horn and flashing the lights, he gets out to see what is wrong. I tell him my butt is stuck on the bumper. Being the "sweetheart" that he is, he starts trying to pull me off the bumper. I thought my whole butt skin was going to tear off. I screamed, "will you stop doing that"!!! He said, "well what do you want me to do?" I said "well blow on me!. So like an idiot he tries that. It didn't work. By now I am getting really worried. I could see him driving down the road with me stuck on the front of the truck with my britches down around my knees. Finally he says,"well now I gotta pee." I said well don't lean on the bumper." He says, " I don't think I will have to do that, I am a guy." Lucky YOU. Then it hit me!!!! I said, "wait!....Pee on my butt!" He said, " are you nuts"? I said, 'well do you have any other ideas?" So he squirted a line in that direction, freed my butt, we got on our way, found the place, bought Doodle and headed home. On the way home, Paul says, "you beat all you know that?" I said, "yea well I can't help it." Doodle is a sweet dog and we love her to death....even though every time we look at her, it reminds us of another "weird" time in our life together.

American Idol Update

Yall watch American Idol last week? I am not sure I like the new "booting" technique...but I guess it is better than taking two people at a time and choosing only one. I do like Ellen, although, she has not had an opportunity to really shine yet. I am sure she will. Maybe she is coming in like a lamb and going out like a lion. Have you heard the rumor that Howard Stern might take Simon's place? He is an idiot...and I doubt he could make a comment without using the "F" word. He would be nasty, probably moreso that Simon, but I don't think the show would have the great "American Pie" appeal any more. Kara is still getting on my nerves. Good Lord, she is annoying. Those lips, twisting around and trying to be cool all the time....gives me the "willies". O.K. I do have some "picks" ....but keep in mind I was pulling for the girl rocker last year, when she was booted on about the third show. What was her name? Had that blond streak in her hair and sounded raspy like Janis Joplin. Oh well. Must not of been to memorable.
I am diggin' the dude who tore off his shirt during his audition. He has long blond hair and he sings the blues. Casey is his name. Be still my heart... and other things as well.
Then there is the girl with the yellow teeth... played the guitar and the harmonica...showed pictures of her baby to the judges. Crystal (Mamasox) I love that girl
And I sort of like Lilly...platinum blond. Something about her is cool. I forgot what!
Katy the little girl who is trying to make Grandma proud before she forgets who she is. She is o.k. but I think I could forget her. Whole lotta forgetting going on here.
And Andrew Garcia....we have not had a winner from the Spanish side of town have we? He might be the first.
Well o.k. there you go. What a show!!! I wish we had shows like the Carol Burnette Show, The Red Skelton Show, Sonny and Cher Show or maybe even Laugh In. I loved Laugh In. But I guess we will have to endure American Idol until some of the "oldies" make a come back.

Ride Em Cowboy!!

Bo is asleep. Horses can sleep lying down or standing. If a horse is holding his head up for a while, he is usually asleep. When they are awake their head is down to the ground and they are eating. Eating and crapping. That is just how it is with a horse. They also sleep mostly in the daytime because they are always on alert for predators. I have three horses...Bo...the one you see here. Bo is a Tennessee Walking horse. Smooth ride. My butt does not move out of the saddle even when he is trotting. Pud is the spotted horse and our baby. He is a Saddle Horse which is right under a Walking Horse ....a little more bouncy than Bo but still a good ride. And then there is Lady....she is a Quarter Horse...and you will need some padding on your butt to ride her. Lady is moody too...as most females are. If I don't ride Lady every day, she gets moody and shows her butt when I do ride her again. Throwing her head, snorting, running sideways, just showing out. Now with Bo....if I didn't ride him for a year, he would be the same. Same ole, good ole Bo! I love that horse. These horses are low maintenance horses too...meaning they eat grass in the warm weather and they eat hay in the winter. We give them a can of sweet feed mostly as a treat. They are certainly not depending on that one can of sweet feed for total nourishment. They have a pond so we don't worry about water. And they love their apple cookies. Always nudging at my pockets trying to get to their cookies. They recognize our car coming down the road and run to meet us knowing they are going to get a treat. I love to sit on the back porch at the farm and just watch them. I have discovered that they stand guard over each other while they sleep. When Bo sleeps, Pud and Lady are usually standing by him on "look out". They take turns. Even though horses are big animals, they are scared of everything. Most of their behavior stems from being scared and "on guard" all the time. They are very interesting animals and beautiful.The sweetest sound at the farm is the sound of their hooves beating across the pasture as they are running to meet us at the gate to get their treats or to be fed.

My Funny Valentine

I can't think of a more annoying holiday than Valentine's Day...unless it would be New Year's Eve. All that kissing, champagne toasting, hollering Happy New Year....it is just an excuse to act like an idiot. I like to act like an idiot....just because that is what I do.

Valentine's Day! Lot of pressure for men....if there is such a thing as a man being under pressure. I like to hang out in the parking lot and watch men running into the grocery store, CVS, Walmart or hallelujah!!! the Dollar Tree to grab some last minute gift, hoping to look like Stud Muffin of the Year as they present it to the lucky

wife or girlfriend at home. Candy and flowers seems to be the most common gifts unless your sweetie is allergic to flowers or weighs more than a small battleship. Or how about those little dental floss panties and push up bras. I think those would be more for the younger set although there are a few men who would like to see their Wrestle Mania Mama in this get up no matter what the outcome might be....and I would bet...it ain't pretty.

Now take my Booch....he has always brought me a bouquet on Valentine's Day. Most of those bouquets have been from a 7-11 Free With a Fill Up. I always make over it like it was the most thoughtful thing anyone has every done for me. In my mind I am thinking why didn't he just get me a funeral wreath? But I don't want to hurt his feelings. He thinks he is being a real "love bug".

And all that "going out to eat" just because it is Valentine's Day. Restaraunt's are packed. Us "regulars" can't get in any where unless we go at 2:00 in the afternoon. People eat out three or four times a week now. It isn't like in the old days when Ma cooked three meals a day and good ole Pa decides to give her a night off...provided she has got all her other chores done.

Men...run by and give her a little love note on the windshield of her car, a loving phone call, a little hug when you get home. We don't ask for much. And don't wait until Valentine's Day. There are 364 other days that would be a lot more meaningful.

Angel Among Us

This is Faye Moon. She is the closest thing to a real live saint you will ever see on this earth. I have never seen this woman angry...and she had six kids. Can you imagine having six kids and not ever being ticked? She raised those kids to be responsible, hard working, God fearing adults. She made their growing up years as sweet and happy as any child could ever be. They all lived in a three bedroom house in Centre Alabama. The four boys slept in one bedroom and the two girls slept in another. They had one bathroom. How would you like living in a house of eight people and one bathroom.? They did live close to the woods so I am sure the boys took advantage of that, especially when the girls had to fix their hair. Come to think of it, knowing those girls, they probably hit the woods a time or two themselves. Mamaw cooked breakfast and dinner every day of her life, even though she burnt the kitchen down one time, they let her keep on cooking. Always made "sorry" biscuits and we all had to force them down. Never made a cake or pie that there wasn't something wrong with it...according to her. She still cooks dinner (lunch) for some of her kids and grandkids who come by from work. Always there for anyone who ever needed her. All I ever had to do was pick up the phone and say Mamaw could you...... and she was here. Her Bible is worn and ragged and I am sure if you looked by her bed, you would find two worn places where her knees fit perfectly.

I have been in this family for 37 years and Mamaw has always been the very best person I have ever known. She is the strength of our family. My life has been better just by knowing her. I wish I could have been the mother and especially the mother inlaw she has been.

We take for granted the love and the dedication our mothers give to us during the days when we are children. Even when we become adults, we think Mama will always be there and we let time go by without ever saying what they have meant to our lives. So Mamaw I want you and everybody to know how much you have meant to me....to all of us. We will rise up and call you a very blessed woman, friend and mother. Love you Mamaw.

The Siblings

Nothing like brothers and sisters growing up together in a good stable family. Most families are not like they were when I was growing up. That is me between Goober and Beckey or Dump as we call her. Actually she is Dump 2 and I am Dump 1...short for Dumpling, contrary to what you are thinking. I don't remember any body being divorced in my day. Garry and I grew up playing with neighborhood friends every day...outside....cold or hot weather...made no difference. We did have a playroom in the back yard where we played pool and ping pong sometimes but most of the time we played ball or hide and seek or rang doorbells and ran or just sat on the curb and talked. Mother always cooked supper...not dinner....supper, every night. She cooked breakfast also...eggs and biscuits...homemade biscuits. I don'think canned biscuits had been invented yet. Then Garry and I had to wash the dishes before we could go back out to play. Held up many ballgames too. But the kids waited on us. And we waited on them when they had to do chores. We came in just in time to take a bath and go to bed. Garry never dried off after his bath. You could tell because his pajamas were always stuck to his body. My sisters came along after Garry and I were much older. I was 11 years older than MaryBeth and 16 years older than Beckey. Most people think I am Beckey's mother....logical mistake. They were a pain in the butt too. Hornin' in on our ballgames and hide and go seekin'. Always whining. They still whine and carry on and me and Garry have to take care of them all the time. Never ends. But that is o.k. You know why????

Family! Family is all there is that is important. Love ya, whinebags. You too Goob!

Watching American Idol

I look forward to American Idol every week. I am not nuts about the first part where they are putting all those idiots on who think they can sing. Or do they? I think they just come on hoping to get on T.V. for their five minutes of fame. Can you not hear how you sound when you are off key? I used to think I could sing a little...just a little but as the years have slid by, I now can not sing a note without sounding off key. Why is that? Did my singing throat strings go bad all of a sudden or is that also part of getting old?

I am anxiously awaiting the debut of Ellen too. Surely she will liven up the judging panel. Lord knows it could use something. I like Simon and his nasty comments and I think the man knows his business. The others are nuts. Kara is even more irritating than Paula was. With the dry wit of Ellen, I think the show will be better. Now all you folks who are refraining from watching AI because of Ellen's lifestyle...well....maybe you should get a life. I mean what do you think will happen to you if you actually watch. Will you suddenly become gay? Will you change her mind because YOU refuse to watch the show? Will your buddies think you are really a wonderful Christian because of the stand you are taking? Are you an idiot? I think maybe the last choice would prove logical.

Out of all the American Idol winners, the ones I remember the most are Carrie Underwear, Adam Lambutt, and Bo Dice(mostly because he was from a little town close to where I live).
And Adam Lambutt was only a runner up but I remember him more than I do the guy who actually won. I can't remember his name...little short dude with a funky mouth. So we are off to another (hopefully) good season. The only one I am pulling for at this time is the guy from prison. The one who held up a bank with his BB gun. Hang in there Al Capone.

Home Again Home Again

Got home this afternoon from Josh and Kimmie's home in Montgomery, Alabama. I love to kick around with those two. Josh and I are always cracking and laughing and Kimmie is always just smiling her sweet smile and thinking something is really wrong but she loves us anyway. We did the Pampered Chef party and visited the Lanark house. But mostly we just hung out....fooling around there at the house.

I get to listen to Josh on the radio talk show everyday when I am down there. He does a very good job with that show. We are really proud of him. I just wish he would grow some hair. I don't understand it....bald men trying to grow hair and men with hair, shaving it off. Nuts! When I talk about Josh's hair, it always reminds me of the time a bird took a dump on top of his head when he was a little boy. I went nuts. I wonder if that maybe warped him and he decided to shave his head. He may need therapy....we will check into that and I will keep you posted on his progress.

When I got home tonight I had supper with Adam and then I stopped by to see my dad who could talk the ears off a Billy Goat. He had lots to tell me about his bowling, shooting pool, square dancing and his basic running around. He is a busy man for 80 years old....or any age actually.

Talked to my sisters and my youngest son Joey. Only person I missed was my brother who has started back to work after a year and a half vacation from his job of teaching P.E. Another wacko story. We will cover that later.

Tune in to Josh if you can....it is very entertaining. I think it is TALKRADIO 740 on your browser and then find Doug and Josh on the Roundtable. If that is not right....I don't know what to tell you....but you are missing a good talk show. Dig around and look for it.