Cold Weather is A Hateful Thing

Does this not look comfy??  I ask you wouldn't you like to be sweating bullets sitting on the dock of the river?  Summertime, the greatest invention since toe nail clippers.  There is nothing like stepping outside into warmth, half necked with your flip flops flipping.  I can cool off in many ways but I cannot get warm.  And if I should get warm, I don't want to move from where I got warm...like the bed, in front of a roaring fire or under ten heavy quilts.

Winter clothes are nuts.  Cuddle Duds, long hannels, three inch heavy socks, gloves, hats over your ears, itchy sweaters, boots...by the time you get all this on you're ready to take it all off and sit by the fire.  You can't even go get the mail without your face going numb from the freezing air.

Warming the car before you actually drive somewhere.  I always run to the truck, jump in on cold leather seats and immediately ask " does this thing have any heat?"  To which Pops replies, while hunkered over like a bear taking a dump, "it ain't instant!"  And then five miles up the road when we have reached our destination the car has warmed up.  Time to get back out.  Don't even think about snow and ice covering the wind shield.

Then we have the thrill of rain freezing which covers everything in a blanket of slick, slippery, tail busting ice. Oh and the beautiful snow!  It's so lovely falling.  Looks like a winter wonderland. We can build a friggin snowman and make snow cream. Kiss my big ole cold butt.  I want an ice cold teeth hurting beer, my tube top and flops, hot wind blowing on my sunburned face while riding the toon.  I want sweat running down every crack and crevice.  I want my sun glasses cause the hot sun is blinding me.  I want to feel faint from glorious heat. That's a good day.